CWNINGEN WEN

officialsteampoweredgiraffe:

When Peter Walter I began constructing an army of robots, he used whatever source of metal he could find. So it wasn’t surprising when his own cast iron stove served as the base for a bronze-laden robot.

Experimenting with his highly sensitive blue matter power cores, Walter tweaked the mechanisms on the microscopic level by a minute amount- resulting in one of the cores keeping active a semi-stable rift into what Walter theorized was an alternate dimension.

Walter was able to focus this portal to send anything he wanted through- which for the African War proved useful. The stove-turned-robot was equipped with this technology, a high powered cannon, and a reinforced blue matter repelling hatch to keep it stabilized and relatively safe. In battle, the robot could fire an array of seemingly ceaseless ammo because of the portal-armed cannon. Mortar shells, shrapnel, spears, harpoons, fiery projectiles, and even blue matter energy blasts roared across the battlefield from the robot’s unpredictable chest.

After the war, the robot was put to use up-keeping Walter manor in San Diego, California for many years. He was fondly referred to, by the Walter family, as “Hatchworth,” on the account that no matter the occasion the robot could always supply a hatch’s worth of delicious, mystery sandwiches. The family never questioned from where these enigma eats came from, and it never was a problem until late in 1938.

Decades of serving the family, Hatchworth came under scrutiny when the Walter sons played host to the Fluffy Kitten and Puppy Foundation’s Annual Gala inside Walter Manor itself. Somehow all the kittens and puppies began transforming into giant badgers, which only became worse when Hatchworth tried removing the badgers by sending them through his hatch. The giant badgers then began materializing at the Yearly Tea & Quiet Music Exhibition five miles away.

Hatchworth was the only robot at the gala serving the guests, and upon examination Peter Walter II discovered a hairline fracture had been developing for years in the robot’s power core. Hatchworth had been leaking a troublesome amount of concentrated blue matter energy, and the only person who might be able to remedy his experimental power core was Peter Walter I, who at the time was bedridden and ill.

Mustache and all, the Walter boys locked Hatchworth in a lead vault deep within Walter Manor until they could find a solution. But months pouring over his original schematics proved fruitless for the boys and soon months turned into years…and then turned into decades.

In 2010, Peter Walter VI was struck with a moment of inspiration following an unfortunate scientific accident that left him physically scarred. He dusted off Hatchworth’s schematics and found a correlation between his own predicament and Hatchworth’s broken power core.

Today Hatchworth’s power core has been repaired and he has been upgraded to include the ability to play musical instruments and sing, which comes in handy since he is the newest member of Steam Powered Giraffe.

Hatchworth still likes making mystery sandwiches as well as pretending to ride a bike and reading his copy of Mustache Today when it comes in the mail.

Hatchworth FAQ

Why does a robot need glasses?

Because he has bad eyes.

Don’t you have a drummer that looks a lot like Hatchworth?

No idea what you’re talking about.

Okay, so who’s drumming?

……..dammit.
ALRIGHT GUYS CLOSE ALL THE DOORS WE HAVE TO DO ANOTHER REVEAL.

Love it, love it, love it! :)

(via bunnybennett)

bunnybennett:

Saturn Devouring His Son - Francisco Goya
(c. 1819 - 1823)

One of the 14 “Black Paintings” Goya painted directly onto the walls of his house, this piece was never intended to be shown publicly- in fact, it’s rumored that Saturn may have even had an erect penis before it deteriorated or was painted over once transferred to canvas.

An elderly Goya had a darkening mood at this time in his life, and indeed- these paintings are quite grotesque and dismal.

I’ve always liked this piece, but I’ve always felt saying so is embarrassing, ‘cause lets face it- it’s a gory piece and I’d imagine folks would think it strange for someone to actually enjoy something this horrific.

The fact that I’d hang it in my own home probably doesn’t help my case either- but let me put it this way…

I’m a squeamish person, and as dark as my tastes may be, I don’t see myself as a brooding individual. When I want to make something happy or euphoric, I think the art will reflect that- and when I want to convey something bad- well…I’ll go all out. Artistic gore works a little differently for me. I don’t look at this artwork and think the man who painted it would be a demented individual. I draw stylized gore all the time and I’m not a violent person. What I see on the canvas of something like this is human instinct- raw carnal desires expressed in an intelligent way.

But the meaning of the art is not as important to me as the imagery that goes with it- furthermore, if you’re familiar with the mythology…

Saturn’s children eventually escape their father’s belly and go on to rule over mortals.

So…with this piece by Goya in mind, the visual of his children piecing themselves back together from meat chunks is pretty sweet.

They are after all…immortals and cannot necessarily die.

bunnybennett:

Henry Fuseli - The Nightmare
(c. 1790–91)

I thought I’d follow in my brother’s updates about music and make some posts about my favorite art! This piece in particular is near and dear to me- and knowledgeable persons may be aware that Fuseli actually painted multiple versions of The Nightmare due to its popularity. This is my favorite version of it.

The look of the incubus and the horse are particularly appealing to me, though I don’t know why. I love the use of chiaroscuro, and the the balance of the subjects. There’s that sort of triangle at work drawing the eye around the art with her raised leg and the sweeping cloth.

And that horse head coming through the curtains is the stuff from my own nightmares as a child. I’d spend many nights with my overactive imagination conjuring large animal heads slowly peeking out of the abyssal black voids of unfortunately open closets.

wibblywobblytime-ywimey:

One of my favorite pictures, it is simplistic and just a really nice shot! 

(via wibblywobblytime-ywimey)

trekkiebeth:

This is a real e-mail that I just got from the San Diego Zoo. Yes, I actually e-mailed them about the bushes and linked them to Trimmy’s Tumblr because I thought it would be funny.

YOU’RE WELCOME, FANMILY XD

(via wibblywobblytime-ywimey)

followthepurplebunny:

My mum walked up to me with a package today and when I asked what it was, she shrugged and with a kind of a clever smirk, said, “I don’t know. Take a look.”
And when I saw that on the package, it said ‘Steam Powered Giraffe’ I went completely crazy. I opened it and this is what I found.

Mum. MUM. YOU ARE THE FREAKING BEST.

Oh my god, I am going to wear all of this wherever I go.

EDIT: Wearing the DVD might prove as a bit of a challenge, though.

Love you my dear! ♥

bunnybennett:

davidmichaelbennett:

http://www.steampoweredgiraffe.com/totebag1.html

Just when you thought we couldn’t come out with any more merchandise (actually I don’t think anyone was thinking that)…
We present Steam Powered Giraffe: The Tote Bag.

The size and style was hand-picked and approved by the members of Steam Powered Giraffe for maximum grocery shopping and miscellaneous item carrying endeavors.

See you next time for Series 3 of the 1.25” 6-button pack adventure badges.

:3

I TOTES have to get one.

bunnybennett:

trekkiebeth:

March 2012 vs August 2012

Can I just make irrelevant comments about how I hate looking at photos of myself? These are just so unflattering! Gyaaaaaaah.

You just look amazing! :)

maybeitisforever:

-smile(:

(via wibblywobblytime-ywimey)